Spooner's Patch

Spooner's Patch

Follows the daily antics of Woodley police station, where officers are more interested in taking bribes and doing little work than catching criminals. Inspector Spooner lives alone in a flat above the station and often had to deal with the messes created by his junior staff.

Comedy

Seasons

1. The Unwanted Prisoner

Air Date: 1979-07-09

Spooner isn't amused when the inscription 'Spooner's Pigsty' is daubed on the noticeboard; or when Constable Bulsover drives straight into his superior's car.

2. The Morning After...

Air Date: 1979-07-16

Spooner emerges from his flat above the station, still in his dressing gown and suffering a hangover with accompanying memory loss.

3. The Share-Out

Air Date: 1979-07-30

Bribery and corruption? Spooner and Goatman make a stout denial when the golf trolleys they trundle into the station prove to be full of wine, groceries and other goodies.

4. The Presentation Clock

Air Date: 1979-08-13

Spooner's great ambition is to win the golf club championship and the presentation clock that goes with it. In spite of cheating, he fails, but a surprise awaits him at the station.

5. Par for the Course

Air Date: 1979-08-20

Nothing goes right for Spooner on the day he is to play golf with the club president — from trouble with pensioners to being badly chauffeured by Bulsover.

6. The Share-Out

Air Date: 1980-03-19

The Mayor, one of Spooner's few admirers, asks him to keep an eye on his house while he is away. Greta, the au pair, is certainly worth keeping an eye on...

1. High Noon

Air Date: 1980-09-04

Spooner indulges in some naughty frolics with the wife of a convicted criminal, not realising that he's due for imminent release.

2. Psycho on the Roof

Air Date: 1980-09-11

Mrs Cantaford persecution of an unfortunate motorist drives him over the edge – almost literally – when he threatens to throw himself off a roof.

3. Spooner's Box

Air Date: 1980-09-18

Mrs. Cantaford drops Spooner's crew in the deep end when she carelessly confides their lunchtime drinking habits to the Chief Superintendent.

4. Drag-Net

Air Date: 1980-09-25

Under protest, Bulsover is made to drag up as a decoy to catch a flasher in the act.

5. Spooner's Thatch

Air Date: 1980-10-09

Ordering up an Adonis Invisiwig to make himself look more suave soon gives Spooner cause for regret.

6. The Birthday Double

Air Date: 1980-10-16

Spooner is appalled at the apparent effeminacy in his subordinates when he discovers that both Bulsover and Killick wear nail varnish.

1. The Big Match

Air Date: 1982-04-15

Daily mundanities and a vanload of drunken Scotsmen conspire to keep Spooner from watching a key football match.

2. The Lock-Up

Air Date: 1982-04-22

Taking a thrashing from Bulsover during a self-defence lesson that he foolishly instigated, Spooner starts fiddling with a pair of hand cuffs...

3. Finders, Keepers...!

Air Date: 1982-04-29

Bulsover finds a locked briefcase whilst cleaning out a squad car. They find out it's full of jewellery, but who does it belong to?

4. The Sting

Air Date: 1982-05-06

Spooner is seduced by the bright lights of showbiz when a producer asks for his help in the making of a new film.

5. Suffer the Little Children...

Air Date: 1982-05-13

Spooner meets his match when a young boy turns up at the police station on his mother's orders.

6. Vote, Mrs Cantaford

Air Date: 1982-05-20

Mrs Cantaford tries to curtail Spooner's despotic activities by running for councillor on a 'get rid of filth' ticket.

7. Police Intelligence

Air Date: 1982-08-24

Extreme bordedom drives everyone to distraction and forces Spooner to fear for Bulsover's sanity.

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Rating

8.0/10

Release Date

1979-07-09

Episodes

19 (3 seasons)

Status

Ended

Cast

Donald Churchill

Donald Churchill

DI Spooner

Peter Cleall

Peter Cleall

DC Bulsover

John Lyons

John Lyons

PC Killick

Patricia Hayes

Patricia Hayes

The Traffic Warden

Videos

Production Companies

Associated Television

Associated Television

Central Independent Television